


Technicks

by sarkywoman



Category: Final Fantasy XII
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-04-12
Updated: 2007-04-12
Packaged: 2018-03-30 09:16:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3931363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarkywoman/pseuds/sarkywoman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A few silly drabbles written years ago based on the Technicks in FF12.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Steal

Steal

Balthier frowned and put his gun over his shoulder as the zombie fell motionless to the ground. Vaan stood frozen, staring in horror at his own palm. 

“Tell me Vaan,” the boy looked up, eyes still wide with shock, “what exactly did you hope to steal from the living dead?”

Vaan gulped, keeping the fistful of maggoty flesh at arm’s length. “Uh… gil?”

“Considering they’ve probably been down here for hundreds of years, they’re unlikely to be carrying much current currency,” Balthier drawled. “You go rooting around in a corpse’s pocket, maggots and decaying skin is pretty much all you’re going to get.”

“Could have told me before I reached in,” Vaan grumbled.

“Now where would be the fun in that?” Balthier said with a smirk, turning to continue further into the tomb. “Now put your flesh away like a good boy.”

“I’m not carrying this!”

“Neither am I,” Balthier said sternly. He looked and smelt too damn good to sully his pockets with zombie meat.

He’d taken a few steps before something cold and slimy went down his spine. Something squirmy. He stopped breathing as it slid down to the bottom of his back, under his shirt. 

He wondered if Vaan could outrun the range on his gun.


	2. Libra

“It’s not hostile,” Basch said, watching the Happy Bunny from a safe distance.

“We gathered that,” Balthier replied. “Anything else?”

Basch used Libra and surveyed their prey again. “She’s called Vera. She’s twelve. She has seven brothers and three sisters, all of which live south of the Giza Village. She’s currently single but searching for Mister Right. She enjoys hopping, running from hyenas, and casting Protect every so often for no reason at all. She plans to write an autobiography of her interesting experiences in Dalmasca.”

Basch turned to see the rest of the party, minus Vaan, staring at him. “What?”

Before they could vocalise their thoughts, they heard a “yah!” cry in the distance, and turned to see Vaan had slain the poor bunny in one swoop of his blade. He bounced back over to the party, looking pleased with himself. There was silence.

“I think…” Ashe said, chewing her lip a little, “we should have some sort of burial for Vera.”

“I’ll notify her relatives,” Basch said sombrely.

“And everyone stop using Libra,” Balthier snapped, “it makes training very emotionally draining.”


	3. Expose

“Ugh… I hate… Adamantoises…” Ashe ground out as she swung her sword somewhat ineffectually at the large shell of the creature.

“We need to lower its defence,” Penelo cried as she dodged a magical jet of water. “Distract and confuse it so we can hit it in a vulnerable area!”

“Not a problem ladies,” Balthier said jovially. He slung his gun onto his back and reached for his belt.

Ashe stopped, sword raised. “What in Ivalice are you doing?”

The sky pirate dropped his pants with a flourish, standing before the Adamantoise without a shred of shame. The giant shelled creature seemed frozen, bewildered by the strange behaviour of this hume. Was it trying to mate with him?

Balthier crossed his arms. “You know, it is getting rather nippy out. If you wouldn’t mind finishing this battle before the cold weather strips me of my reputation I’d be ever so grateful.”

Penelo and Ashe shut their dropped jaws and hesitantly returned to the battle, able to strike the Adamantoise in the softer regions previously guarded.

Basch, Vaan and Fran were on the sidelines. Basch finished his potion and asked Fran if this was a common occurrence. The Viera nodded, prompting Vaan to ask how she could stand to travel with him.

Fran just smiled, eyes on Balthier’s shapely ass, and told Vaan he didn’t understand the female mind.


	4. Charm

“Well it was Fran’s idea,” Balthier grumbled. “And at least it isn’t trying to kill us any more.”

Princess Ashe had averted her eyes while everyone else watched and, in Vaan and Penelo’s case, laughed until they cried. Basch, ever the gallant hero, stepped forward. 

“I will assist you.”

The Hellhound humping Balthier’s leg howled as Basch dragged it away. Fran warped it away, still smiling slightly as Balthier picked himself up off the floor. The Pirate dusted himself off. “Nobody say a word.”

Vaan and Penelo’s laughter died down to sniggering. Ashe shook her head despairingly and continued walking.

Fran cocked her head at her partner. “I always told you your charms would get you into trouble, did I not?”


End file.
